IN THE BEGINNING

Was Energy
Energy was with God
And Energy IS God,
All in the beginning with God and now
All things were made through Energy
And without Energy was nothing.
Energy is light
The light of men,
Light that shines in the darkness of the void
And the darkness of the void does not overcome it.
The true light that energizes every man
Manifested in the world,
Made through the Light
Yet the world recognizes not the manifestation.

Manifested Light comes to all people
Many who do not recognize Light.
To those who recognize the Light
Who believe though they do not comprehend all
He gives meaning of themselves as children of God
Born not only of blood, or will of flesh, or will of mankind,
But of the very Light itself.

The Light became flesh and dwells among us
Full of grace and truth;
We experience his Being Light,
As a son manifests the Father Mother Creator.
From He who is Light we all receive
Grace upon grace,
Understanding of our meaning.
For the law was given through Moses, but
Grace and truth comes through Jesus Christ the Light Itself.

No one has ever comprehended God,
But Jesus the Light manifests God the Light.
Our eyes are opened.

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Author Anne Tyler

I read these three books in the past week, a week of rainy days when I couldn’t do yard work even if I really wanted to. The fourth I read some time ago and honestly do not remember it right now.

Anne Tyler’s stories all revolve around ordinary people leading very ordinary lives, seen from multiple viewpoints, and through several generations. They are endearing people, living in or around Baltimore. They sometimes act compulsively and a slightly out of character (leaving home on a whim, being kidnapped and enjoying it, feeling guilty for years over some unkind words that seemed to cause a disaster). The story flows from that action, with some flashbacks to clarify the characters’ motives or behavior. The author does not fall back on gratuitous sex, foul language, or crime sprees to spice it up as publishers like.

In the end, each main character comes to see his/her own life as valuable. I like that very much, since most of the folks of the world are “dispensable”, missed for a while but not for long when we pass away. I like the author’s way of seeing individuals as important in their circumstances.

Ladder of Years (1995), main character Delia Grinstead walks away from her unappreciative family and tries out another life.
Saint Maybe (1991), main character Ian Bedloe believes he has caused his brother to commit suicide and dedicates his life to “atonement.”
Earthly Possessions (1997) the main character Charlotte Emory discovers her own great strength of character in the face of life’s ordinary difficulties.

In a 2005 interview she says she gets her characters and stories from right where she is, near Baltimore. From the library I have Dinner a the Homesick Restaurant (1982) which Tyler says is her favorite, and The Accidental Tourist (1985) which I am sure I read before. I am going to get her latest novel (2010) and see where Anne Tyler is now, as she nears age 70 herself.

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MY IMAGINARIUM

Through the silver doors
Into my mind and past and future
Friends playing every musical instrument in the band
Accordian, clarinet, piano, guitar, banjo, mandolin, triangle,
tambourine, drums, harmonica
Audience clapping and laughing appreciatively,
Dancing with me, singing.

With him, feet up, companionable on the couch,
Talking of many things and laughing
Books, people, ideas, food,
Playing card games he wins, no matter who wins,
Gentle gestures, smiles, timeless relationship.
Forever now.

Free in a patisserie, a French bakery rich
Of smells of bread and rolls
Dripping butter, nuts, raisins, cinnamon, sugar glazed,
Lemon tarts, rhubarb strawberry pie, mincemeat pasties,
Coffee with cream permeates the air.
Chairs scrape away from small round tables
Always room for one more friend.

Horses whiney in the coral
And mine comes to me, a palomino
Sleek and clean and golden
Nuzzles into my hands for a treat
Hangs her head over my shoulder
Shivers under my touch with brush or blanket or saddle
As one we wander rich farm lands
Deer jump away and birds call
Wheat leans with the warm wind
Smelling of earth and grass
Waving us on.

Driving down an endless ribbon of road
Five mountains in view to the west
Blue sky edged with clouds to the east
A hawk glides over my path
Watches me
A messenger from the Benevolent Universe
Blessing me on my way.

No darkness encroaches now
No worry about security of finances
No distrust of the words or intentions of others
No physical distress
My children and grandchildren flourish as do I
In good health and happiness,
This is heaven.

We create our own reality
And then live in it.

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An Imaginary Conversation with the Archbishop

Totally Imaginary.
May 28, 2010.

“May I speak with her, please?”
“This is she.”
“I am the Archbishop.”
“Yes, I know who you are. We have met several times.”
“But not recently, I think.”
“I think not.” I feel on guard but interested.

“I was talking recently with your pastor and your name came up.”
“Yes?”
“He thinks you have your finger on the pulse of disaffected women in the church, and that you can articulate that, if needed.”
“That is flattering. I think well of him too.”

“So let me start with a hand of friendship, please? I do understand your disaffection with the church, your feeling that your past work and talents are not appreciated. That is a sad failing throughout the church. I am sorry for that.”

“And what work and talents are you referring to then?” I asked.

“Your 20 plus years of preparation in Catholic institutions to serve the church, your 35 adult years as a volunteer, a lector, Eucharistic minister, serving on boards and committees, a teacher and a principal. Your ongoing daily prayers and concerns for the church today, even through your anger. That you haven’t really left the church. You and many other women of today share this discontent, am I not right?”

The Archbishop’s voice and temper were even, unaccusing. Since I seldom attended Mass anymore and never donated funds to Catholic endeavors, this whole conversation was something of a surprise to me. No one has ever contacted me from The Church to wonder where I was, or how I was doing, in any sense of the word, let alone spiritually. He was being nice. I was having trouble just “feeling nice” at my end. I wondered what he wanted from me? Fill in for some ailing principal? Forgive and forget everything and start donating again?

“If I may, I wish to invite you to a panel discussion, regarding the educated and disaffected women of the church, of what can be done to call them back. Would you be willing to come to a work session two weeks from now? Give it some thought before then? If you will, I will have sent to you a list of discussion questions, so that you can think them through before then. Would that be acceptable?”

“Yes, I would be happy to do that, for you, and for women. But you know, I did this before, when the Bishop’s Pastoral on Women was be vetted, in about 1986. I wrote up a response then and sent it in, and never heard another word. The Bishops just dropped the whole topic. I don’t think the response will have changed much over the years. Instead there is greater frustration and less hope for even qualified women to hold the respect of the hierarchy. The Pope himself has closed the door on discussion even.” I stopped.

“Are you doing this of your own initiative, or do you have direction or approval from the national bishops, or from Rome?” I asked.

“The thinking of bishops is changing, slowly, as they recognize that the Spirit works from the bottom up as often as from the top down. I have the authority to look into this myself, and some fellow bishops are doing something similar in their areas.”

“All right then, you can count on me.”

He confirmed my address and said good-bye.

Such a conversation makes my heart leap with joy, like Pentecost, “burning within me.”

Too bad it is all imaginary.

Who besides me would be on the panel of local disaffected but educated Catholic women?

Cathy Colby, Jan Miller, Carolyn Ullman, some nuns.

What would the questions be?

1. Please share a summary of your experience in the church. Formal education, spiritual formation, work in the church or volunteer positions.
2. Tell briefly the turning point, where commitment and obedience lost out to frustration, anger, etc.
3. What still attracts you to the church, that you do not cut it off entirely?
4. What sustains you spiritually now?
5. What insights have you had into the church and the situation of women in the church today?
6. What is your vision for the future?




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