Value of My Life
Date: Jan. 5, 2005
From: MJS
To: CW
One thirty, a.m. This is as good a time as any, since I fell asleep during the football game. But why should I wake wondering about the purpose and value of my life again?
If I try to stand outside myself and evaluate my life, north south eat and west, I haven’t got very far. I didn’t do anything grand like Mother Teresa, or even thousands of hours of service like my own Mother to the thrift shop and as much again to the Red Cross. I did work for the church for 17 years at half wages, so maybe that counts for something. I haven’t travelled far and don’t even want to very much. This life is not about covering space or other culture or having material possessions. I am not in line for any awards.
To the heights and depths of one life perhaps I have gone. Companion to this man, parent to these children, member of this church community, I have done some justice to all of that. If I compare this life to all the others I did not choose or apply myself to that I could have, this one isn’t much really. My husband’s spirit must be very valuable to Someone that I have this task of companionship to him. I liked teaching, being the administrator, and now the camp host, which are only slightly different functions really! They’re all “Big Mamas.”
And now I hear some call to go to the center, some huge space on the inside, a dot, inside a single atom, available to the poorest person in India or the richest person in the U.S., if one looks that way, or moves in that direction. “Keep writing,” says The Call. “It doesn’t matter who rejects, who accepts, who ignores what you write.” That’s what got me out of bed in the wee hours, keeps me awake for a while, because if I ignore that voice when it calls, it doesn’t call again the same way.
I am like water, my life is flowing way!
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Comments & Questions? Email: womenbefriends@yahoo.com
From: MJS
To: CW
One thirty, a.m. This is as good a time as any, since I fell asleep during the football game. But why should I wake wondering about the purpose and value of my life again?
If I try to stand outside myself and evaluate my life, north south eat and west, I haven’t got very far. I didn’t do anything grand like Mother Teresa, or even thousands of hours of service like my own Mother to the thrift shop and as much again to the Red Cross. I did work for the church for 17 years at half wages, so maybe that counts for something. I haven’t travelled far and don’t even want to very much. This life is not about covering space or other culture or having material possessions. I am not in line for any awards.
To the heights and depths of one life perhaps I have gone. Companion to this man, parent to these children, member of this church community, I have done some justice to all of that. If I compare this life to all the others I did not choose or apply myself to that I could have, this one isn’t much really. My husband’s spirit must be very valuable to Someone that I have this task of companionship to him. I liked teaching, being the administrator, and now the camp host, which are only slightly different functions really! They’re all “Big Mamas.”
And now I hear some call to go to the center, some huge space on the inside, a dot, inside a single atom, available to the poorest person in India or the richest person in the U.S., if one looks that way, or moves in that direction. “Keep writing,” says The Call. “It doesn’t matter who rejects, who accepts, who ignores what you write.” That’s what got me out of bed in the wee hours, keeps me awake for a while, because if I ignore that voice when it calls, it doesn’t call again the same way.
I am like water, my life is flowing way!
br>
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Comments & Questions? Email: womenbefriends@yahoo.com
posted by MJS at 1:47 PM
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